Realizing Your Self Worth

Hello everyone! I hope the week has treated you good. So i’ve had some things on my mind lately and that is realizing my self worth and standing up for myself and coming to realize that i am good enough. Unfortunately i came to a recent dilemma in ballet and have decided i will not be dancing with my ballet teacher again and won't be dancing for the next 2 months. Why did this happen? I'll be more than happy to explain.

We have a big show that we do every May and last year we did “Beauty and the Beast” and it was one of the best memories I've had in ballet yet. I got the part of the Enchanted Rose and it was such an honor and pleasure to get to do so. All of my family, friends and boyfriend came to see me and support me and i just felt so special and happy. The show is something we practice for for about 3 months and my teacher always does a big announcement of who gets what parts and this year she didn't do one but she did announce that we were going to be doing “The Little Mermaid” and i was so excited!! I was like you know what I just got my pointe shoes and I've been trying really hard lately and I think I may actually have a chance at playing Ariel! And as the weeks go on we are practicing dances and she tells a girl she got the part of Sebastian and i'm just like ??? “well when does everyone else get to find out parts” and she says “i'm not sure I’m still trying to figure out some parts” so i keep waiting. One week I am looking at the costumes posted on the wall and i see Ursula’s costume and i ask the grand question “Who is going to be playing Ursula?” And she tells me, A student in phoenix. So i ask, Who's prince eric? A student in Phoenix. Whose Triton? … A student in Phoenix. I ask my final question, whose Ariel? Another student from phoenix.  

My thinking right now is, if this is our show why in the world are all the main dancers IN OUR SHOW your phoenix dancers?! So over all i didn't get a single part in the show but pretty much just another back up dancer. And don't get me wrong that's not what got me mad. But it’s also the fact that she wanted to charge me an X amount of money to be in a show i would only be dancing in for 5 minutes AND not only that but i deserve more than that because I've been working hard for the past 3 years to be better in my dancing and performing. And the fact that i didn't get anything really just made me really sad and like maybe i wasn't good enough for ballet.

In a matter of a week I found myself very confused and hurt. I kept going back and forth between myself and my passion for dance. I didn't want to stop dancing and miss out on an opportunity for growth. But then again i knew it wasn't worth my time and money at this point. I kept going to people and asking for their advice and everyone had something different to say which only made me more confused. In the end i had to listen to myself cause only i knew what would be best for me.

So i came to the conclusion of dropping out of the show and not going to class for the next 2 months. This was an incredibly difficult decision for me to make but overall it was something that had to be done. I will continue to dance on my free time and keep practicing pointe.

Overall what i wanted this post to be about is for everyone to realize that they are good enough. No matter what situation you are in whether it be in dancing, personal relationships or even if it’s with yourself emotionally or physically. Never let anyone tell you otherwise you are your own sun. I think we all need to believe in ourselves and everyone should love themselves as well. I am a strong believer in this and i hope you all are too!! I wish you the best and i hope everyone has a happy first day of spring and happy “International day of Happiness”!! Ill talk to you guys next week. Have a great week, until next time!

At last years show- our last bows to the audience, I did a turn

I opened the show in the "prologue" of Beauty and the Beast

The end pose to one of our other dances as a group

Vegas 2016

Hello everyone!! Sorry for the late post. It’s been a busy weekend with spring break but I recently went to Vegas and wanted to fill you guys in with my experience. It was my cousins 21st b-day and for his celebration he wanted to go out to vegas but the only crummy part was i had work and we are getting into our busy season and i didn't think i'd be able to make it but then 3 days till he texts me saying “Jenny i wish you could come :(“ and then another one right after saying “Everyone else is coming but you and if you're not there it won't be the same..” So i get really sad and my conscious starts to feel bad so i walk over to my manager and asks him if he has a minute or when he gets one if i can talk to him. So i go into his office and we exchange words about my schedule and how i really really REALLY need to and want to go so thank the heavens above he lets me go!! Anyways i lie to my cousin the whole time and tell him “sorry i can’t go but take a shot for me!” 

 
So i leave with my sister on a Friday night after work at 5 and the drive isn't too bad only 5 hours so we get there at 10 and i surprise my cousin there and everyone is excited and we are in vegas!! So mostly everyone is already kinda tipsy and tired when we get there but it’s my cousin's birthday and we gotta do something!! That night we decide to go out to Fremont street “aka the original strip” soooooo let me tell you what, Fremont is crazy!! I got 3 words for you, naked people everywhere! Just boobs, butts and man thongs or just tassels. But it was okay we didn't end up leaving until 11 and we were all so exhausted we only lasted about an hour and went back to the hotel.

 
The next day we get up and that's our party day!! We are pumped and ready to go! So we change get our best Vegas attitudes on and get the show on the road! So we head out and we are just walking on the strip my cousin and my sisters boyfriend take backpacks with them and fill them up with beers so they don't have to buy drinks which is very smart of them!! So we first go to “New York, New York” and they have an awesome roller coaster there and we see it and all of us are like we have to do it!!! So we go on it and it’s sooo awesome! The best way to start off our day on the strip!! And i have my camera with me to take a bunch of photos so i can document all the moments and post it on the blog. But anyways we keep walking on by and having a great time and we soon all become a little hangry and tired so we decide to start headed back and my cousin wants to eat at a place called “Dicks” and omg it was the best place EVER! So we walk in and we are a group of 8 and the lady asks us very angrily “how many?” And we say “8” and she leans over to the other girl and says “We got 8 bitches” and we just start cracking up!! Then the lady seats us. Then our waiter comes over and slaps a big piece of paper on the table and says “Make the table i'll be back” so we set it. He then asks us what we’d like to drink and he asks my cousin next to me first and he says “water” the guy says “waters in the toilet” moves on to me and asks me I say “water too” and he remarks “Follow that bitch” and points to my cousin lol anyways that’s the main attitude of all the waiters at the restaurant and it’s amazing. So the best part of this restaurant is they put hats on you and write very vulgar things on them like “ i love anal” and “even my mom thinks im a slut” but the most terrible one i saw was an older woman and her hat had a hole cut in the middle of it and it said “Cum dumpster” and oh my goodness i felt so bad for her. Waiters would walk by and throw paper balls at her face and it was kinda hilarious. The first one to get the hat at my table is my cousin who ordered water and it says “Im not gay … my butt is” and we just start laughing so hard because he actually is gay! And throughout the time we are there they play songs and make you sing a long and sometimes even dance and wave your hands in the air it’s just such a fun time in there i would highly recommend going there!!
   
Anyways that’s where our adventure ends and we head home the next morning and get some good rest after Vegas! But one very unfortunate thing that happened is that i lost my nice camera while i was up there …. So i have none of my artsy fartsy photos to post. Just what i had on snap chat and my phone. But i will make sure to post those for you guys!! But my main recommendation if any of you guys go to Vegas is to ride the rides and go to “Dicks” its so much fun and those were my favorite memories from Vegas! Until next time!! Have a great week everyone!

Typical selfie "peace" pose

The Vegas gang!! 

Me and Brandon. He's really excited!! 

"Im not a slut my mouth is" hat. Thanks Dicks!

The gang again on Snap chat